When words embrace my mind like the ring upon your finger.

There are certain songs I’ve heard lately that have struck some buried cable in my mind. I thought you buried things to get rid of them, to move them out of the way. Out of sight, out of mind’s the way it goes right? Perhaps in doing my best to bury everything, I only dug the hole that became the birthing place for a seed of something far greater, something even more unconquerable than what I already faced. What am I talking about? Read on and see…

“I warned you what could happen if you should decide to live your life from the 9 to 5 … they found a way to reassure you that everything would be okay. Reach out today now I implore you to remember who you are. Return to days when you knew you still felt alive. Reveal the way you felt when you could look inside… Break the walls between building atrophy causing all your problems to recede… Take back the beat in your heart, why fight when you can’t be bought?” – Atrophy by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

“You left behind hopes and dreams of a life left incomplete. You walked away from every thing you believed in when you wanted to change the world.” – Needles by Haste the Day

“ This paper posed as photographs. This promise snapped with time elapsed. You think you do, but you don’t know me at all. Last chance to find what we believe. I hope you save those you’ve deceived. You think you do, but you don’t know me at all. (You can’t hold your breath forever) ” – F-Stop by Sullivan

” I stared into oblivion and found my home. I stared into oblivion, and found my own reflection there.” – Into Oblivion (Reunion) by Funeral for a Friend

” Tell myself, on the ride home. Getting tired, hating all I’ve known. Holding on, like it’s all I have. Count me out, when it’s clear that I, find it hard to say. And you, find it hard to care.” – Different by Acceptance

I’ll just say it like this: I used to have dreams…dreams to change things, to make a difference. I used to care, not just about myself, but about others as well. I used to this, I used to that…I used to be a Christian. The point to note here is that I used to. I’m not now. I got tired, I got fed-up, I ran everything through my head and it came out as bullshit. I threw away God and everything in my life that I had associated with him. I left everything I knew behind and put on a new pair of shoes and headed out to wherever life would take me.

Ironically enough, it didn’t really take me anywhere. I’m stuck in stasis…no passion, no movement, no change. And I am wholly unsatisfied. In almost every way possible I feel unfilled, unnoticed, irrelevant. Sad to say, but I drown myself in World of Warcraft and whatever else I can get my hands on to distract me from the fact that when I have the time to think, all I can think about is how desolate, bored and miserable I feel.

I need a breath of fresh air, a chance to reinvent myself…a chance, just maybe, to reach heavenward again for the breath of change that lingers there. I can’t get off my feet to move, and I feel that it will take someone dragging me along, face down up a cliff, to get me anywhere. I can’t live like this. I’m mean, look at me…I sit down to spontaneously write, and all this emo bs comes out. That’s definitely NOT what I’m shooting for. So I’m turning my ass around, headed back to where I was, and doing everything I can to get out of this hell hole that I’ve buried myself in. I’d like to end off here with the finishing stanza from Different:

” I’m taking a chance, this could be different. This could be all I’m waiting for. Taking a chance, this could be different. This could be all I’m waiting for.”

A Fairy Tale, Perhaps?

In the spirit of boredom, creativity, or some odd combination of the two, I’ve decided to start writing a fairy tale. It’s my first ever, and I’m writing it in an open, “this is what popped into my head first” fashion. Note that everything you read is a DRAFT, a WIP (work-in-progress), and I’m posting it that way so that I can get comments and feedback about what I should do with it. So let me know if you want changes here or there, or what you what to see happen next, anything.

<-START->

It is said, that when the world came to be, Time had the mannerisms of an incredibly energetic child. Bouncing back and forth, to and fro, often changing it’s mind about the way things went here, or how this was said there. He had a devilish sort of attitude, breaking all the rules and making all the other BLAHS* jealous (especially Fate…afterall, how was one to decide how things were going to be in the distant future if you always had Time to go around messing things up?).

Sadly though, as Time grew older, he settled down with a rather nice lady and unfortunately, lost the oomph from his younger days. As the millennia went on, the spark in Time slowly died until one day, he up and kicked the bucket (afterwards, Fate threw a party, saying it was “destined to be” and other such nonsense. Not many BLAHS showed up though…they decided to use what was left of Time wisely…and no, it didn’t involve a barbecue).

When Time died, his body shattered (slowly, in an overly dramatic fashion) into billions of tiny rectangles (Time’s favorite shape). Each of the rectangles was incredibly thin, thinner even than paper, and on each one was a depiction of a different moment or series of events in history. It is on one of these “slices” of Time , if you will, that our story takes place…

<-END->

* I haven’t come up with a name for the collective members of creation and emotions or whatever (Fate, Future, Apathy…etc). Suggestions welcome.

The idea with this fairy tale is to keep things relatively simple, so that the reader doesn’t have to waste brain power on memorizing complex names and can just dive in to the story and enjoy it. All this, while still maintaining some originality and, of course, a decent sense of humor. That’s the intro, and it’s open to praise and/or criticism.